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I Don't Like You!
(Random Rants)
Filia Ul Crap: Golden Dragon My Ass!
--Filia. God how I hate her! Now, if you go to NECROFILIA (a Filia hate site... The link is in the "Links" section.), they describe why we all hate her to a "T"... But since I can't just take the NECROFILIA hate ramblings... I'll just tell it as I see it!
--Filia is just an all-around HO! Her costume is not anywhere near priestess-like. She looks like some lady who got drunk at the Reinissance Festival and threw on a bit of all the costumes they had there. If I were the god/idol (whatever!) that she prays too, I'd have struck her down with a lightning bolt a long time ago. Or at least excommunicate her. Jeeze, is her idolitry a bunch of old western saloon harlots or what?!
--Her dress is nothing compared to her. I thought preistesses were supposed to be a bit more...uh... disciplined? How would you feel if you had to be shut in a confession booth with That!?!
--And, dammit, she has no character-worthy qualities. She's not smart, she's not brave, she's not strong, she's not even a comic relief! Just another lousy female stereotype. The only admirable quality she possesses is that she can feel remorse (for the Golden Dragon slaughter of the Ancient Dragons). Whooptie-freakin-do. Hey, look on the bright side, she possesses the one quality Xellos does not!
--Also, she's suppossed to be a millenia-old Golden Dragon. In "The Slayers NEXT", we meet a Golden Dragon, who is majestic and wise.... who Filia is not anything like. Over 1,000? I coulda sworn she was a bratty, ditzy, catty Britney-Spears-lovin' "Seventeen" fanatic. She gives all us blonds a bad name! *points to head* Gourry is blond, and he's an idiot moose-brain. Filia's blond and she's a bubblehead with cotton-candy for brains. But she's such a whiny tightwad! Filia needs a serious bust up da fazoo*.
* I know a lot of you think I hate Filia because I'm pissed at the fact that her and Xellos are reffered to as so-called "a couple", but no, I just hate her because she's just an awful character (at least Martina was a comic relief!) and is just there to rain on everybody's parade. She really serves no purpose... Just to bitch and whine and bat her eyelids. I like Zelgadis just as much as I like Xellos, but I don't hate Amelia, she's one of my favorate characters! J-U-S-T-I-C-E!
Zelgadis: Coffee sux, tea is the way to go!
~ Now I don't really hate Zel, actually he is my 2nd favorate character, but this is a Xellos site and since Zelgadis and Xellos are like a cobra and mongoose (or cobra and horny mongoose with a cobra fetish) it deserves a good Zelgadis rant.
~Now, the only thing I really don't like is the big character/voice change. In the first half of season 1, Zel is all cool and mysterious and a downright sweet sweet monkey lovin' hottie. His English dub voice fit this perfectly (I think it was Danny Cronin or something... eeee!). But in the second half of the 1st season (after we meet Amelia) Zelgadis is seen as a chibi doll stuffed in Gourry's bra, a foreshadowing to events to come. From this point on Zelgadis is played by Crispin "Crispy" Freeman, who sounds a bit, um, too stuffy. He's not cool, he's more like he's got a serious rod if ya know what I mean & I think ya do. Once season 1 is over, Zelgadis becomes the comic relief, utilizing his anal personality as a reason to make him do the most ridiculous shiznit... use him as an anchor, dress him in drag, put him in cuddly bunny costumes etc. Sure this is funny and all, but really I think I liked the earlier part of the series.
~Secondly, his ridiculous and uncharacteristic (and unlikely in all reality) semi-crush on Amelia. Oh, come on! Read further to what I have to say about that.
~My analysis: Zel is a tightwad who needs to loosen up. Maybe if he got drunk and got his freak on with Xellos it would do the trick... Or maybe somebody should just get him some Prozac, I dunno.
Crispin Freeman, A.K.A. Crispy, Crispix, Crispit, Lispy Crispy, and Crispy Frisbee
Crispin Freeman is the voice actor for the English language Zelgadis. Everyone, I urge you to go to his site,www.crispin.freeman.net . He is a stuck-up bastard! His site might as well be "iloveme.net" . He's so in love with himself he does his own site and decks it out in pics of all his anime characters and stuff. He's just funny that way! ^-^ Yeah... Yer all right **nudges Zelgadis** For a fellow Aquarius, Crispy is pretty full of himself (well okay... so am I ^_^) , and let's just see if he can smuggle those antiquities through Portugal like he says on his resume! C'mon Crispy! Pull a One Peice pirate trick for us!
(P.S. My buddy Jupie cussed him out as a joke on his fan club's site. Their response? "Jupie is poopy!")
Fangirls who hate David Moo:
I really hate it when fangirls go on and on about how the English dub Xellos sounds fruity or nerdy or congested, but hey! Why do you girls hate him so much? What, 'cuz he doesn't sound like the hottie bish dreamboat Akira Ishida version? Lemmie say something... get a life!!! It's just a cartoon! If you take it so seriously as to despise one little thing like that and be distressed because David Moo doesn't sound at all like Akira Ishida, then, damn, maybe you should lay off the anime and go to Slayers rehab for awhile! 0_0 Firstly, if you don't like David Moo's version, SHUT THE EXPLETIVE DELETED UP and watch the subtitled version! (It's that simple!) You don't have to like it! You can either watch another version of Slayers or lump it! Secondly, I am sick of all those weirdo girls who say "Death to/Die/Kill/ David Moo". Get a clue! He didn't choose himself to be Xellos! The dubbing company did! So if there's anyone you have a gripe with, it's SquareSoft or whatever the hell company it is who chose him. Lay off, will ya? Lastly, he is not Akira Ishida, so please shut up and quit whining. (P.S. I am one of the few who think he was an excellent Xellos! Really! He was hilarious! And if you think Xellos should be "sexy" or something, will you please have your head examined? Xellos is supposed to be WEIRD!!)
When Anime and Porn are Synonomous
I abso-smegging-loutley hate it when people think that all anime is porn. What made me REALLY mad was in a video/music store at the local mall, they had the "Anime" and "Adult" sections in the same isle! AAARGH! They were right next to each other! Not to mention that half the titles were hentai... BLEGH! And all the major major blockbuster anime movies (think; "Akira" and "Ghost in the Shell", "Vampire Hunter D") are usually adult animes that are only marketed to, well, adults and hentai lovers. To all to many people, anime is either hentai or ridiculous "Pokemon"-style kid's stuff.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Z And A Can Bite It (and why all the couples SUCK)
Honestly, I cannot believe the disturbing amount of Z and A supporters (or, in other words, people who support Zelgadis and Amelia's quote-unquote "relationship". And even more surprising is the extremely disturbing amount of Filia and Xellos supporters! Well, let me tell you, YOU'RE ALL CRAZY!!! So, here and now, I will put all this completely ridiculous crap to rest with my special Slayers couple-dissing section. Enjoy! And if you get pissed off and want to send me a big ol' flame, be my guest, you cantankerous sap!
But as one site put it, "If you support the couples, then you're not a bishounen fan!"
Z and A: Somebody Get Me A Mop I'm About To Be Sick All Over The Place
---Okay, to start out, I'm going to ask you a little question. "What do Zelgadis and
Amelia have in common?" While you scratch your head dumbfounded, I must admit that they DO have something in common. Get ready for this, okay? Ready? Here we go... The one thing they have in common is their hairstyle. Period. Sure, I'm gonna hear protests, but really, what else? Does Amelia share Zel's biting dry wit and intellect? No. Does Zelgadis share Amelia's perpetual passion for justice? No. Are Zel and Amelia even on the same level? Hell no!
---Amelia is a loudmouthed infantile bubblehead. Zelgadis has a serious and mature nature. Does it work out? No! And don't give me that "opposites attract" crap. Could Heero Yuy (of "Gundam Wing") fall in love with Serena/Usagi(from "Sailor Moon")? Would hell freeze over?
---The only reason I can picture any guy liking Amelia is her chest size. And man, is that pathetic. If that's Zel's reason (Which it probably is, seeing that Amelia has no wonderful personality to speak of; she's got Astro-turf for brains), then man Zel, you must be pretty shallow!
---Yes, I am fully aware that they are an official couple... But I ask you, why?!? They meet for five minutes, and then suddenly they're an item because whenever they touch, they blush? Oh, come on! I can see Gourry and Lina being in love because they were friends for a long time first, but I think the writers of "The Slayers" just stuck Amelia and Zel together just to set them up with somebody. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen (if there are any guys reading this), but it don't work that way. They're too different, they "fell for each other" too early, and that is just not right. Besides, they're not even friends. Amelia whines and won't shut up about "Mister Zelgadis", but Zelgadis couldn't care less about her. Zel needs someone that'd give him space, not some whiny tag-along who won't shut up or leave him alone.
---But also, for Amelia's sake! I mean, Zelgadis treats her like an annoying little kid. And then when he does this, she gets low self-esteem. I dunno about you, but that's no way to have the guy you like treat you! Only on a few occasions does he treat her like an equal. Amelia needs someone who'll treat her right! It's just wrong! I like Zel too, but all that makes me like him less and less!
---*I also found out something. Amelia doesn't have a mom because her mom was killed by the sword of an assassin. This is also the reason why she doesn't carry around a sword (or any weapon for that matter). And then what? She falls for a swordsman? Does that make sense to you? 
Filia and Xellos: The Couple From Hell
___Okay, who suggested them in the first place? Come on. I want names, I want places, I want dates. Who in their right mind would ever even think it? If you go here or here they'll give you exactly the resons why it don't work out. But if you're lazy, I'll just tell ya right here;
___Now, let's see... The obvious reason is (Duh!) they hate each other. They are mortal enemies for crying out loud! And don't give me that "forgiveness" shizznit. If someone slaughtered MY people I could never forgive them. Not no way. Especially if they weren't sorry for it! Especially if they LOVED doing it! (See, Valgaav forgave Filia for the Ancient Dragon massacre because she felt sorry for it. Xellos did not. I don't see how she could forgive him) I would probably feel the same way as Filia. I'm sorry, but could you fall in love with someone who had a grand ole' time slaying your race? Come on. Okay, besides that, they do reallllly hate each other. And if you're one of those people who interpret teasing as flirting and annoyance as love, this really isn't the case. Filia isn't playfully annoyed by Xellos, she hates him and everything he does (and did). Really, could you love someone you hate? This isn't the teasing=flirting thing, this is real hatred. Think about this; Could an avid member of PETA fall in love with an avid lover of hunting deer, without either of them changing their beliefs? No! It'd be sick!
___Filia, because she is such a no-nonsense boring-as-smeg tightwad, would obviously want a serious, no-nonsense guy. But if you think Xellos could become any of those things, yer kidding me. (Sure he's serious sometimes, but only at climactic moments. And even then he's serious in a kind of cold, ruthless way.) And Xellos, well, he'd need someone who'd appreciate his humor (like Martina; she pretty much worshipped the ground he walked on). And, dammit, Filia don't appreciate nothin' about Xellos.
___And some people (crazy people) say that they'd make a cute couple. Ech! Can you imagine what that'd be like? It would last five minutes tops, well, depending if Xellos can be genuinely serious for five minutes. Filia wants true love, Xellos would probably cheat on her just to see the look on her face. Hey, I can imagine that way easier than ever imagining them in a serious, true-love relationship.
___Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. Sorry to burst your pathetic pro-couple bubble, but mazoku are incapable of feeling love! Hellmaster H. Phibrizzo! How many times do you Filia-Xellos marshmellowbrains have to hear this? I don't give a flying CENSORED what you say, or what insignificant miniscule micro-example you throw at me, they can't. If it is not their instinct to feel this emotion, then they won't. It's called nature, people!
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