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Ah, yes. The story. Okay, gather 'round everyone, and I shalt sing thee the story of the Genki Octopus Shoppe. What?! Okay, okay, I'll just TELL you then... *puts away mandolin* (lousy f'n...):
It all started at a certain culinary epiphany in a certain haunted tower during a certain cooking contest (we all know that story!). Anywho, (My Unquestionable Lord and Master) Xellos decided that a good way to while away the time, as well as a good excuse for wearing a frilly pink apron, was to begin a culinary franchise.
Well, not so much a "culinary franchise" as a crude shack in which to cook the most abominable and lethal confections known to mazoku kind, therefore spreading their tentacle-like influence upon the general public of nightmarish chaos and neverending malevolence (see above left photo).
I pointed out that sushi recipes involving "poisonous spindly killerfish" that ultimately resulted in the death of anyone at least as powerful as a Golden Dragon was most likely illegal, and attention would be brought to the whole operation by the large mortality rate. And not to mention the fact that no one would buy "Deadly Dim-Sum" even if you paid them. And if your motto was "Come to Xellos' Genki Shoppe of CONFECTIONARY HORRORS, where Death is always on the menu!" does not exactly account for a huge turnout on opening day.
After a few hours of contemplation, it was finally decided that odiously poisonous food was probably not such a good idea, we decided that it should be a cafe of the next best thing; Disgusting blubbery invertibrate seafood! But the most disgusting blubbery invertebrate was a hard decision. Squid is too normal (calamari, y'know), and Jellyfish has a "Gourry" connotation*. So octopus was perfect! I mean, they're practically the Scourge of the Sea anyway, at least, that's how Jules Verne sees it**.
So with the aid Vincent Price's "1001 Ways to Cook Evil-Looking Sea Creatures", we opened up in small booths during popular fish-related Japanese festivals with names which I couldn't pronounce even if my life depended on it (see photo at right).
And now, Xellos' Genki Octopus Shoppe is a booming franchise! Well, alright, I lied. It's still a shack with a happy-looking octopus painted on it, but it has become bigger! We now have the addition of five small cafe tables and a few manky-looking chairs! Marvelous, eh?
* Mr. Gabriev is mentally unavailable for comment.
** The disgusting blubbery sea invertebrate in Jules Verne's "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" is a Giant Squid. Apologies to Mr. Verne, an to all Giant Squids.
All loiterers, eat-and-runners, and Golden Dragons will be persecuted. And I mean persecuted!
Xellos: Ah, yes yes! "To torture him I lust / Let's singe his hair / And up his nostrils hot bananas thrust!"
Kili: Er, yes... And don't forget the floppily-doppilies...
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